I kept telling myself to calm down, relax, focus on the speech, but nothing was working. I was all freaked out, a complete mental block. My partner was taking notes for me as I tried to get myself together. I could barely comprehend any word my opponent was saying. I couldn’t help it, I was next.
I was completely unnerved. I was representing my school at a Debate Competition and I couldn’t get over my stage fright. I am an introvert and I do not participate in such events. So obviously, I didn’t sign up for this, I was forced. The Debate Head compelled me to do this for reasons that were still not explained to me. My parents and my two best friends were all very astonished by this news. Savannah Grey, a person who barely spoke and who everyone didn’t even know existed was to argue with some of the most confident people in town.
I’m sitting there staring at this paper with my handwriting all over it, but I couldn’t see a thing. It was a touch-and-go moment for me when I was preparing. This was one of the worst moments of my life. I was feeling nauseous, and my legs could give away anytime. No one thought I could do it, I didn’t think I could do it, but it was necessary.
When they called my name I felt like I was glued to the chair, I staggered when I got up and went to the mic too slowly, wasting as many seconds as possible to avoid this suicidal venture.
The first sentence I said was incomprehensible, even for me. I started speaking, but there was no connection between my thoughts and my speech. There was no feeling in my voice. I felt like a dementor from Harry Potter, just sucking the happiness not only from everyone around me but also myself.
All sorts of thoughts came into my head during that time, mostly negative. I knew I had lost and there was nothing I could do about it. And then suddenly I realized that there cannot be anything more to lose so why not give this a try. I searched for a point to focus on, and the center judge caught my eye. I knew it would be rude to look directly at her so I looked above, at the window sill, imagining my friends sitting there cheering for me. It didn’t take me too long to get adjusted to the atmosphere after that. I knew my lines, and I knew that my speech was very convincing. Slowly I started to build up, my voice was getting stronger and more persuasive, nothing could stop me now.
There on stage, I realized how the actors, musicians, comedians, and various artists may feel when they have over 500 people watching them. I thought of how these artists just perform without hesitating and completely win over our hearts. From here, I knew if I did my best I’d leave there satisfied not because I overcame my stage fright but because I know I tried and I gave it my best.
That is one incident that I will always remember. Out of the blue participating in a debate competition and not getting myself embarrassed. This first speech gave me a lot more than just the confidence to perform, it gave me the strength to fight and the power to believe in myself.
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